#123: The Forbes Remix
A lil' Monday Afternoon Motivation for you and yours
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Today is gonna be a bit more motivational than usual.
CULTURE THING:
Proving people wrong used to motivate me. Negative energy drove me. I know I’m not alone in that. We all just watched a story that, at its core, is about one man’s journey to prove everyone wrong. Proving people wrong makes for great music and inspiring Youtube videos. We all want to prove the coach who cut us from the team or the boss who didn’t give us that promotion or that one person who didn’t believe in us wrong.
2020 has been a year of dramatic change for the whole world, and I believe that there has never been a better time to change the things about my life that I don’t like. Being motivated by doubt is one of those things.
For me, the problem with this kind of motivation is that it really isn’t as rewarding as we think it is. In my experience, aiming to prove people wrong made me bitter and resentful. Not to mention, when I would achieve success or get a win, one of two scenarios would occur:
The person who doubted me that one time doesn’t care because they weren’t as obsessed with me as I was with proving them wrong.
The person who doubted me forgot their initial lack of support and claimed they were behind me the whole way.
I SHOWED THEM…and then what? What was I left with?
Consider this: What if, instead of being motivated by proving people who doubted you wrong, you shifted to trying to prove people who believed in you right?
The researchers present their experiment as solid evidence of a so called "negativity bias", psychologists' term for our collective hunger to hear, and remember bad news.
It isn't just schadenfreude, the theory goes, but that we've evolved to react quickly to potential threats. Bad news could be a signal that we need to change what we're doing to avoid danger.
As you'd expect from this theory, there's some evidence that people respond quicker to negative words. In lab experiments, flash the word “cancer”, “bomb” or “war” up at someone and they can hit a button in response quicker than if that word is “baby”, “smile” or “fun” (despite these pleasant words being slightly more common). We are also able to recognize negative words faster than positive words, and even tell that a word is going to be unpleasant before we can tell exactly what the word is going to be.
We pay attention to bad news, because on the whole, we think the world is rosier than it actually is. When it comes to our own lives, most of us believe we're better than average, and that, like the clichés, we expect things to be all right in the end. This pleasant view of the world makes bad news all the more surprising and salient. It is only against a light background that the dark spots are highlighted.
In short, we focus on the negative because we feel like we’re great and amazing and the person who disagrees is a rogue outlier that must be paid attention to, avoided or destroyed in order to save our sense of self.
Thing is, by focusing only on the negative reaction we get, we ignore a sustainable and renewable form of motivation that could be the difference from where you are and where you want to end up.
You have people in your life right now who want you to win. They want you to be successful. They want you to achieve the highest highs in your career. They want your creation to hit the top of the charts, and are willing to help you get there. This mentality is the inverse of what DJ Khaled used to say.
Do you give these people the time of day? Do you value their opinions as much as you value the opinion of that one person who doubted you? To take it further, I assume you’re like me and want to surround yourself with smart people. If that’s the case with your circle, do you think the people who love and support you are stupid? Are they idiots for having your back before you blow up or buying your product when no one else was?
To bring back that Jordan example, we all admired Jordan for his need to prove others wrong who doubted him in his past. But consider the teacher who saw potential in you and stayed on your ass until you hit the grades they knew you could. Think about that boss that. gave you that promotion when you weren’t sure you were ready for it. The coach who gave you a spot on the team because she saw something in you. Those are the people we should want to work hard to impress. They have invested in you because they believed in you.
The shift to this mentality has been truly life-changing. For years, proving people wrong fueled me. I used to be so angry when I’d see the Substack list of best-performing posts and newsletters and I wasn’t on it or when I didn’t get included in a list. Now? I write this newsletter to prove you all right.
The people who read this thing comprise some of the smartest and coolest minds on Earth. There’s college kids reading these words that will go on to take what I write about and get farther than our generation did because they got info from Office Hours that helped them get an advantage. There’s people at big companies who are gonna make themselves recession-proof because they have a skillset that others don’t because of what we cover here. There’s a person reading this that’s trying to figure out how to make money writing about music or culture or marketing that is gonna see what I’m doing and use it to build the next big thing. THAT is my motivation now. I got almost 2,000 people who believe in what I’m doing, who cares what someone else has to say?
Two big things helped me shift to this mindset:
Make a list of the people who support you. If they've ever shown love, write it down. Now, ask yourself: Are these people stupid? If the answer is no, then maybe you need to trust that they might know what they're talking about?
Believe in others. I have no qualms about shouting out someone's work that I enjoy, be it by tweeting about it or featuring it here or just sending them a quick message. I do this because it made me sad when people I support loudly and proudly don't return the favor for me. Instead of getting bitter, I channel that energy towards showing support to others. People think I'm weird or have ulterior motives. Still, the truth is: I want other people to know that I believe in them and what they're doing, even if nobody else sees it yet.
Try this mindset out for a week. Instead of working to prove others wrong, work to prove them right. Please e-mail me and let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear from you! I believe in you even if nobody else does. You can do it!
MUSIC THING:
I cannot hear Roundball Rock without wanting to run through a wall. John Tesh’s magnum opus (aka The NBA on NBC theme) is the sound of the 90s Bulls or the Shaq + Kobe Lakers or the Supersonics gearing up to take on Barkley’s Suns. It’s a pinnacle of 90s nostalgia and motivation and inspiration, all in a handy 2:34 package. It is literally the sound of my childhood. This oral history about the song is fascinating, if only because John Tesh wrote it without ever having attended an NBA game (!!!)
“BA-BA DA-DA-DA BAAA!”: An Oral History of “Roundball Rock”
While we’re at it: Some great Americans added Roundball Rock to the 2008 NBA Finals and if you can make it through this video without getting hyped up enough to run around the block, then God help you.
RIP KOBE BRYANT.
Oh! In case anyone was wondering…yes, there is a metal cover of Roundball Rock and yes, it will make you want to drink the blood of your enemies while going 10 for 12 with 8 rebounds and 11 assists.
MARKETING THING:
With traditional ads, companies create ad content that interrupts customers in the form of billboards, magazine ads, T.V. commercials, radio ads, etc. Each of these advertisements interrupts customers as they’re doing something else, such as watching a T.V. show or driving down the street.
The ads don’t provide any value to customers, and they don’t offer any inherent reason for customers to view them.
Instead, they interrupt customers at a time when hopefully they won’t be able to get up and do something else. An ad on a subway capitalizes on the fact that passengers can’t go anywhere, and companies hope people will read them while waiting for the next stop. A billboard interrupts drivers hoping they’ll pay attention long enough to get the message, without losing focus of the road.
Traditional ads rely on good placement, clever wording, and exceptional creativity to capture customers attention for a brief period of time. The goal is for the ads to be clever enough to capture a few seconds of attention that will hopefully be enough time to communicate the brands message.
It’s a difficult proposition that leads to three fatal flaws for traditional advertising:
Ads only capture customers’ attention for a brief period of time, if that.
Ads interrupt customers instead of providing something of value.
Ads end up being very expensive, especially if the campaigns are unsuccessful.
So is there an alternative? Is there a way to reach customers without interrupting them? Is there a way to engage people so that they want to hear your message instead of doing everything they can to avoid it?
Yes, and it’s called content marketing.
A Beginners guide to Content Marketing (Neil Patel)
You’re going to keep hearing me talk about the value of content marketing in this section. Read this if you’re still wondering what it is or how it can help you sell your product, idea, or service.
HOW TO HELP BLACK LIVES IN 30 MINS OR LESS:
When it comes to taking the steps needed to create a racially equal America, I’ve heard from many well-intentioned non-Black people over the last two months that one of the most daunting things for them is trying to figure out what they can personally do make things better.
Some folks see these massive issues as a significant problem that cannot be defeated, so they struggle to figure out what one person can do, which leads to them not doing much other than posting to IG. Some of that is not wanting to seem like you’re doing too much, some of that is fear your intentions will be misunderstood.
What if I told you that for only 30 minutes a week, you can help black lives no matter where you are or how much money you make? Here’s how:
Carve out 30 minutes in your calendar this week. Call it “Being A Better Person Time” or “Set a Good Example for my Kid” Time, whatever works.
Click a link and make a call or donate or sign a petition. Just do one thing in that 30 min window.
This weekend, share the above link with your three closest friends and say, “Hey, I’m (calling/donating/signing a petition). I’m worried about how things will be for future generations, so I’m doing something about it. If you’re interested, here’s the link!” If you have a group chat, drop it into your group chat!
Repeat the following week for as long as you can. Do it while you online shop, do it while you’re on an annoying call, hell, you can do it while you poop, I genuinely don’t care! Whatever it takes! It is the absolute least that you can do, but you’ll get a sense of accomplishment and the knowledge that you at least did SOMETHING to help. You have a vision of who you want to be, right? That ideal version of yourself that does the right thing when given a chance and leads by example? This is that chance. You can do it!
BONUS: You won’t have to lie to your kids or grandkids about being on the right side of history! You can be all like, “Children/Grandchildren, we don’t tolerate that racist shit in this house. If anyone says otherwise, send them to me.” and you’ll sound all tough and cool, and your kids or grandkids will respect and love you and not want to be racists…guess what? That means less racist people in the future!!!
Look at that. It turns out you had a bigger impact than you thought the whole time!
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
I’ve been consulting on programming for the good folks at Chicago Ideas for a few months now and I’m really excited about what the team has been working on.
Recently, we hosted a conversation between Jia Tolentino and Shea Serrano that you should watch here.
This week, we’re doing a virtual chat with Bashir Salahuddin and Diallo Riddle, of Comedy Central’s South Side and IFC’s Sherman’s Showcase for FREE. Save your spot here. Don’t miss it!
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