Office Hours with Ernest Wilkins
Office Hours with Ernest Wilkins
#107: Tellin' It Like It Is, Not Like It Was

#107: Tellin' It Like It Is, Not Like It Was

Song - Tellin' It Like It Is, Not Like It Was - T.U.M.E


“The dictionary defines ‘patriarchy’ as a ‘social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family in both domestic and religious functions….’ Patriarchy is characterized by male domination and power.” He states further that “patriarchal rules still govern most of the world’s religious, school systems, and family systems.” Describing the most damaging of these rules, Bradshaw lists “blind obedience—the foundation upon which patriarchy stands; the repression of all emotions except fear; the destruction of individual willpower; and the repression of thinking whenever it departs from the authority figure’s way of thinking.”

Patriarchal thinking shapes the values of our culture. We are socialized into this system, females as well as males. Most of us learned patriarchal attitudes in our family of origin, and they were usually taught to us by our mothers. These attitudes were reinforced in schools and religious institutions.”

“Clearly we cannot dismantle a system as long as we engage in collective denial about its impact on our lives. Patriarchy requires male dominance by any means necessary, hence it supports, promotes, and condones sexist violence.

We hear the most about sexist violence in public discourses about rape and abuse by domestic partners. But the most common forms of patriarchal violence are those that take place in the home between patriarchal parents and children. The point of such violence is usually to reinforce a dominator model, in which the authority figure is deemed ruler over those without power and given the right to maintain that rule through practices of subjugation, subordination, and submission.”

Dismantling and changing patriarchal culture is work that men and women must do together.

Excerpts From: bell hooks. “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love.”. Emphasis mine.

If you want great takes on the J-Cole/Noname kerfuffle this week, here’s two from Lawrence Burney at The FADER and Tyra Nicole Triche at the Chicago Reader.

Here are my key takeaways:

  1. There’s a difference between ignorant (does not know better due to lack of exposure) and stupid (knows better, acts dumb anyway).

  2. Y’all notice a lot of the media orgs that have been quiet this whole time sure did hurry and get a take about a potential J.Cole and Noname beef out there?

  3. “Song 33” is NUTS. Noname x Madlib are gonna fuck around and make this generations Miseducation and I…

    Bart Scott Cant Wait GIF | Gfycat
  4. If you are going to come for someone, I would not recommend that person be a black woman from Chicago.

My birthday is next Friday. To celebrate, I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up!


HAPPY JUNETEENTH: Play this on shuffle. It’s some of EVERYTHING.

HOTEL POOL CLASSICS: Put this on when you want to lay out in the sun. This playlist is also low-key great for a drive with windows down. Speaking of great warm weather music…

SUMMER HITS of the 2000s, anyone?

Last but not least, A GUIDE TO POST-YACHT aka modern yacht rock/stuff inspired by yacht rock.

GRISELDA RECORDS 101: If you’ve heard about Westside GUNN, Conway the Machine and Benny the Butcher but still haven’t listened, try this. I made this playlist for a bud who had never heard any of their music before.


Like we always do at this time, here are seven easy steps to support black lives!

  1. Carve out 30 minutes in your calendar next week.

  2. Use that 30 minutes to go here.

  3. Click a link and make a call or donate or sign a petition.

  4. Repeat this action one (1) more time next week.

  5. This weekend, share the link with your three closest friends and say, “Hey, I’m (calling/donating/signing a petition). If you’re interested, here’s the link!” If you have a group chat, drop it into your group chat!

  6. Bookmark this link.

  7. Repeat the following week.

Do it while you online shop or while you take a shit, whatever it takes! It is truly the absolute least that you can do!


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Office Hours is written and created by Ernest Wilkins. Follow me on Twitter/IG @ErnestWilkins.

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Office Hours with Ernest Wilkins is a production of W&A, LLC.

Office Hours with Ernest Wilkins
Office Hours with Ernest Wilkins
Office Hours Magazine is a new take on the B2B publication, focusing on the business of cultural industries.